Confession
by kirathaune
Summary: Goku has a confession to make, but Sanzo doesn't want to hear it.


"Hey, Hakkai?"

Hakkai turned to see Goku lurking in the doorway of the cottage's kitchen, watching him as he prepared vegetables for dinner. "What is it, Goku?"

"Can I ask ya somethin'?"

Hakkai nodded, and Goku slid into one of the chairs. The teen fidgeted, and Hakkai could see that Goku was trying to figure out how to word his query. He handed him vegetables to peel and said, "Goku. Just ask."

Goku kept his eyes on the potato in his hands. "Um, Hakkai... was it scary when ya told Kanan that ya loved her? Was it real hard?"

Hakkai's knife stilled on the cutting board. "Ah." He wiped his hands on the towel and sat down next to Goku. "You want to tell someone that you love them?"

Goku's head bent lower over the vegetable. "Um, yeah... but m'afraid to."

Hakkai closed his eyes. "It was the most frightening, exciting feeling I think I've ever felt. I thought my heart was going to pound right through my chest and I was afraid I was going to be ill." He opened his eyes to find Goku watching him with rapt attention.

"I feel that way every time I wanna try an' tell him!" Goku exclaimed. "I wanna puke!"

Hakkai chuckled. "I'm assuming you want to tell this to a certain blond monk?"

A vivid blush flooded Goku's cheeks. "Ugh… yeah." His shoulders slumped as he returned to peeling the potato. "I wanna tell him. I want him to know. I wanna do it before we get to Houtou Castle… an' we're gettin' close." He looked pleadingly at Hakkai. "I dunno what to do, Hakkai. What if I tell him, an' he... doesn't love me back?"

Hakkai smiled gently and reached out to brush sienna locks away from Goku's face. "You can't make someone love you, Goku... all you can do is love them with all your heart. Would it really make any difference if he didn't?"

Goku's forehead crinkled as he digested Hakkai's words. Then he shook his head firmly. "I'd still love him anyway, no matter what he said."

The healer stood and returned to his cutting board. "That's about all you can do, Goku. But I think that Sanzo cares for you, perhaps more than he'd ever admit."

Goku looked at him, eyes wide. "You think maybe he loves me?"

"I'm pretty sure he feels _something_ for you, Goku. You didn't see how he was after Ukoku hurt you so badly, when he thought you were dying." Hakkai took the decimated potato out of Goku's hands and handed him another. "Or for that matter, when Homura took you from him." Not to mention the way Hakkai had seen their leader look at the teen when he thought no one was watching. "Now whether it is _love,_ I can't say. But there is _something_ there."

Goku's face took on a determined set. "Hunh. If it doesn't really matter what he says, then I don't have anything to be afraid of. Well, maybe the fan… he can hit real hard with that." He smiled at Hakkai. "Thanks, Hakkai, for listenin' to me. I think m'gonna tell him tonight."

"You're welcome, Goku… I wish you good luck." Hakkai gestured at the pile of vegetables. "Why don't you go run real quick to the market and get some beef for me to put in with this? Sanzo likes it that way, so we might as well get him in a good mood."

The teen jumped up, sending the chair clattering to the floor. "Okay! That'd be great!" Goku set the chair back, and then wrapped his arms around the healer in a quick, fierce hug. "You're the best, Hakkai."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It was after dinner, and Sanzo was reading the paper in the room he shared with Goku. The chair in the room had proven uncomfortable, so Sanzo had shucked his robes and reclined on his bed, clad in his jeans and silks.

Not a bad evening, really. They had managed to get a small cottage for the few days they would be in town, and Sanzo much preferred Hakkai's cooking over the hit-or-miss of restaurant fare. In fact, Hakkai had made one of his favorite dinners tonight.

Something was up with the monkey, though – he had been jumpy all through dinner, almost like he was trying to be on his best behavior. Which wasn't saying much, but at least there had been less inane chatter, and miraculously, no fights.

Not a bad evening at all.

"Hey, Sanzo." Goku came into the room and plopped down on the other bed.

He ignored the monkey and turned to the next page.

A few (blissfully) silent minutes went by, and then Sanzo felt the bed dip as Goku sat down on the edge of his bed next to him. "Hey, Sanzo? I, uh, wanted to talk to you about somethin'. It's important."

Sanzo lowered the newspaper slightly and said nothing, just looked at Goku.

Goku fidgeted. Sanzo noticed a blush staining his cheeks and wondered what the monkey was embarrassed about.

"Well?"

Goku's Adam's apple bobbed as the teen swallowed hard. His mouth open, then shut, and then he blurted, "I just, uh, wanted to tell you… uh… thatIloveyou."

The newspaper crunched as Sanzo's fists clenched. "You what?"

Goku wavered a bit at Sanzo's sharp tone, and then determination replaced the nervousness on his face. "I love you." More came out in a rush. "I've felt this way for a long time, an' I wanted you to know before we go an' fight Kougaiji. To know that I love you."

Sanzo froze. He'd had a sneaking suspicion that the monkey harbored feelings for him, but he'd always been able to convince himself that it was just a crush, just a childish thing. He'd been wrong… the emotion that shone out of Goku's eyes was not a crush – and this was no child that stood in front of him now. He took refuge in harsh words and huffed, "Tch. Don't say stupid things."

Normally this sort of dismissal worked just fine, but not today. Goku's brows drew together and his expression grew stormy. "It's NOT stupid! Love isn't stupid!"

"_You're_ being stupid – so shut the fuck up," Sanzo retorted, and re-erected the newspaper wall. Some distance between them, even if it was paper-thin. He did not want to deal with this… not now. He wasn't ready for this.

The wall was torn down seconds later as Goku grabbed the newspaper and threw it on the floor. Sanzo goggled for a few seconds at the monkey's temerity, and then anger blazed and took over. "So you love me. Big fucking deal. What do you want from me?"

"Nothin'. I just wanted to tell you, but it's NOT STUPID."

Sanzo grabbed Goku's wrist and yanked, sending the teen toppling onto the bed. He leaned over Goku, glowering. "You're lying – you want something from me. What is it?"

"N-nothin! It's like I said, I jus' wanted you to know how I felt." Goku tried to free his hand, squeaking when Sanzo trapped the other wrist, pinning them both above his head. "Sanzo!"

Sanzo tightened his grip on Goku's hands and snarled, "What is it? You think if you make a sappy declaration of love I'm going to fawn over you? Give you flowers and candy?"

The monkey looked up at him like he'd gone insane. "Flowers and candy? Why would I want that? You already give me stuff. You buy me meatbuns sometimes, an' it's really neat when you let me have extra dessert. That's way better than any stupid flowers or candy." Goku cocked his head and grinned. "Although you could buy me Pocky. I like Pocky, especially the green tea ones."

Sanzo thought that Goku was the insane one - he wasn't supposed to react this way. He was supposed to stammer and apologize and back off, not come back at him in – defiance? And he especially was not supposed to be such a smartass. Sanzo tried a different tack. "If you think I'll stop calling you stupid monkey or stop hitting you with the fan, you're out of your tiny mind."

"I don't mind you calling me monkey – it's kinda a nickname, right? Although I don't like it when the kappa calls me that." Goku tried to squirm away, and Sanzo shoved his knee between the teen's legs in an attempt to keep him still. "I don't want you to be anythin' diff'rent - cuz then you wouldn't be _Sanzo. _Sanzo smokes too much, hits me with the fan an' calls me names." He groaned, bucking his hips up against Sanzo's thigh. "Ngh… ohhh, Sanzo... move that way again – that felt sooo good."

Sanzo stared at the eager, writhing teen pinned beneath him. The little shit had no fear. None. Sanzo had thought that he could scare him off, but only succeeded in getting the monkey aroused while giving himself a raging hard-on in the process. Goku moaned and moved against him again, and he could feel the thick, hard ridge of Goku's erection.

_Fuck._

"Greedy little shit," Sanzo growled, and crushed his mouth to Goku's in a rough, bruising kiss. After an initial "Mmpf!" of surprise, Goku responded hungrily, and his lips parted under Sanzo's to invite more.

Sanzo ignored the invitation, and instead ran a trail of bites and kisses along Goku's throat, while his free hand swept under Goku's t-shirt and roamed over taut, straining muscles.

S-Sanzo…" Goku gasped, "Leggo my hands… please… I wanna touch you."

Sanzo tightened his grip on Goku's wrists, and the roaming hand slid lower.

He pulled open the button on Goku's khaki pants and yanked the zipper down, slipping his hand inside cotton boxers to wrap his fingers around Goku's cock. At Sanzo's touch, Goku moaned loudly and arched his back. Sanzo found it intoxicating to watch Goku respond to each stroke, each pull, each pump of his hand. To watch Goku's face become flushed and wanton, his eyes dark with desire. To listen to his name spill out of the teen's mouth with each moan.

"Sanzo… please… lemme touch you too. Please."

"Maybe I don't want you touching me." But he did want it, wanted it so much that it shocked him. He'd be damned if he was going to admit it, though.

Goku actually laughed at him. "Then you're nuts." Goku wriggled beneath him, grinding up against Sanzo's hand, and shifted his leg so that it pressed against Sanzo's erection. "This feels so good, Sanzo… lemme make you feel good too." Goku moved his leg again, trying to give Sanzo pleasure any way he could.

It was too much, and with a groan Sanzo released Goku's hands. The monkey wasted no time in diving down to fumble frantically at the zipper of Sanzo's jeans. Then a rough, callused hand was stroking his cock, while Goku's other hand snaked around Sanzo's neck and pulled his head down to bring their mouths together.

Their tongues rolled and thrust against each other, sparring for dominance, while their hips thrust against stroking, pumping palms. Goku moaned into Sanzo's mouth as he came, and Sanzo felt the wet heat of Goku's release spurt over his hand. Then Goku's grip tightened on his cock, and Sanzo was coming hard, his orgasm pounding through his body and leaving Goku's hand slick with his own release.

"Wow," Goku breathed. "Ohwowohwow…"

Sanzo couldn't agree more… that was the most intense orgasm he'd ever experienced. He pulled his hand out of Goku's pants and fell with a grunt against him, burying his face in Goku's sweaty neck. He was surrounded by sensation - Goku's pulse hammering against the bridge of his nose, the sticky warmth between their bodies, the monkey's hand stroking his abdomen. "I don't want to hear any more of this 'love' shit," he mumbled against damp skin.

"S'okay," Goku panted, "You know it now, so I don't hafta say it again. I jus' wanted you to know."

Sanzo tasted Goku's sweat on his lips. "Don't expect any declarations from me, monkey." He decided he rather liked the taste of sweaty monkey, so he lazily swiped his tongue along Goku's neck, enjoying the shudder that ran through Goku's body.

"Ngh…s-s'okay too. This is waaaay better than words."

_It was,_ Sanzo reflected as they lay there, twined together in a tangle of limbs and clothing, mouths lazily exploring. He knew he should get up – they were both a sweaty, sticky mess – but his body resisted moving away from the monkey's warmth.

"Sanzo?"

"Hmmm?"

"Does this mean I'll get Pocky?"

Sanzo reached for the fan.


End file.
